Jim and his team had been working on a job that just had to be completed by a deadline. The team pulled together, put in the extra hours and got the job done. Knowing the effort that had been put in, Jim told them “lunch is on me tomorrow”. At the end of lunch Jim spent a few minutes thanking the team for meeting the deadline, and the job they had done. The employees got up and went back to work……..
About 15 minutes later one of the key employees came up to Jim, visibly upset. “You never show us any appreciation he accused.” Startled, Jim asked “So, what did you have for lunch today?”, “What did I say at the end of lunch”.
The employee, now embarrassed headed back to work, leaving Jim shaking his head wondering if there is any pleasing some people.
Firstly the confession, this was me, and at the time I was completely stumped. This incident occurred 10 years ago, and today I have a very good understanding of what it was about.
Its simple when you look at the basics, some people are people focused (my workman), others are task focused (me). So what I valued was the job being done and done right. My workman valued people and relationships, what he wanted was praise for who he is, and his personal values. For me being praised for who I am was all a bit touchy feely. I preferred praise for the job. What I did not get is: Being praised for the task was not praise at all for my employee.- .
Tips for giving praise
If your not in the habit some people may wonder what you’ve been smoking.
Persist- it takes a while to soak in.
It must be sincere, its impossible to fake.
Never use praise to manipulate.
Praise what they do for you, and who they are for you. That way you have every one covered.
To make the situation a bit more interesting recent work by Dr. Greg Chapman explains that there are 5 languages for praise, and each of us has 2 that work, one that is neither her or there and two that just don’t work for us.
They are :
Physical Touch (care!)
These are explained in more detail on the website